Hey everyone, in the comment section of this post you can post something that you have recorded, it doesn’t have to be a studio quality track, it can be something recorded on your cell phone, just make sure that the beat can be heard (no acapellas, only recordings with a beat to it) and you will also need to post the lyrics of your verse(s).

I will mostly focus the feedback on the way you sound and while this will be somewhat limited (due to the lyrics/flow courses on the main page offering full instructor to student teaching) it will still give you some important directions and assessments.

Looking forward to your entries.

DemoKingz

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Showing 226 comments
  • KO-Styles
    Reply

    not studio quality but yeah. https://soundcloud.com/khalil-oloko/hear-it-in-my-head

    I’m in the whip, destination nowhere,
    Put the address in the GPS nah man can’t go there,
    I’m looking for the right path, avoiding the blood bath,
    The stakes are high you take a wrong step and that’s that,
    I’ve learnt from my mistakes, now I’m gonna bring the wrath,
    Destroy these fake ass rappers who claim to have gats,
    I’m like the Ali of rapping, my bars float and tote and when I’m hot they sting,
    Don’t step to this, if you haven’t seen what I bring,
    I don’t follow the same path you niggas you follow,
    It ain’t hard to tell that half the brains of these rappers is hollow,
    Renting cars for they videos when in reality they drive a 98 Volvo,
    I suggest you listen to this in slow-mo,
    Take some notes cause you sound like a hobo,
    And any diss track sent I can decipher,
    Been through it all now you see I’m wiser,
    In love with the rap game I decided to wife her,
    My bars are expensive some say its designer,
    Now tell me Pls who’s raps diviner?

    I can hear it in my head these people want me dead, even the bitch in my bed, yeah she wants me
    dead. They won’t mind leaving my shirt red.

    I’m drinking to escape all the pain inside of me,
    Drink in one hand with my crew beside of me,
    Fucking the industry hard,
    I don’t write with a pen I write with my heart,
    Ironic that my thoughts will be the death of me,
    Low key or even high key,
    These fake rappers are cliche in this industry,
    Full of fake ass bars and wannabes,
    I can feel my life changing,
    I can feel myself fading,
    Away from the people I changed with,
    But fuck it, it is what it is,
    More wiser because I think about everything,
    I stop bad people coming into my life before it starts happening,
    2015 and there still people suffering,
    Yeah, but there’s nothing we can do,
    KO styles on the beat bringing it to you,
    Do this till I die there’s no going back,
    See life through my eyes realist one since Tupac,
    Man like KO styles, alone till its done,
    only true one with style, shoutout 0161.

    I can hear it in my head these people want me dead, even the bitch in my bed, yeah she wants me
    dead. They won’t mind leaving my shirt red.

    Man fuck the fame, I’m fucking the game
    I’m not a materialistic person, some say I’m insane, do this cause I feel the rush in my veins, after you die the only thing left behind is your name, and when people reminisce and cry they won’t remember the cash you made, rather they remember the people you saved, my life will be forever engraved, and even when I’m in the grave il still hear people playing my shit at raves

    I can hear it in my head these people want me dead, even the bitch in my bed, yeah she wants me
    dead. They won’t mind leaving my shirt red.

    KO-Styles I’m looking into the future, full of lanes, gotta pick the right one, that’s right I gotta pick the right one

    DONT STEAL MY LYRICS, THANKS.

  • Trouble
    Reply

    https://soundcloud.com/troublemon/you-notby-t-man
    im still that same nigga you went to school with,
    after school pack tools bitch,
    hit a lic, hit it quick,
    then its back to making this music

    im still that nigga i claim to be
    5 duce hoover cause diont play with me
    roundn round with that k on me
    i dare a nigga come play with me,

    my nigga trell, he doing his thang,
    still that nigga thatll bust ya brain,
    my nigga keno doing the same,
    still that nigga that bout his change,

    i hustle hard but i grind harder
    still that nigga thatll out smart cha
    still that nigga but im getting sharper
    still that nigga but my pockets larger

    Still that same nigga that they call trouble
    and i remember the struggle
    and how i dont wanna struggle
    and how i went out hustled
    and all the problems i tussled
    bloodline sick an avereved nigga would buckle,

    Still smoking strong,rasta farian with th bong,
    keep my head gone,i love smoking and making songs,

    from wyoming to g-town,im coming down im smoking lbs,
    you fuck with me you get beat down,
    still the same nigga i was now.

    You not the same nigga that you used to be,
    the type of nigga who change when he get money mane,
    You not the same nigga that you used to be,
    the type of nigga dat get a bitch and act funny mane,
    You notthe same nigga that you used to be,
    You use to be my round but i cant tell now,
    You not the same nigga you used to be,
    use a fake use phoney use a clown,

    I dun seen alot and dun heard it all,
    i aint want nothing till i wanted to ball,
    and i aint want shit till i wanted bitch,
    my friends aint never been loyal friends,

    But in the end, i never regret, ill do it again,
    still get cuffed and threw right back in that fuckin pin,
    still be on my skateboard mufuckers aint know i ride a skateboard,

    Its alot of shit you dont know me,got me a team called lmtd
    i be on the move bitch,i gotta lot of shit to prove bitch,
    money on mind,all the time , how im gone lose bitch,

    i remember how you niggas use ta laughed at me,
    when i use to ride skateboard up and down the street,

    mane you cant stop me,
    i love it when you doubt me,
    never been a fake or a phoney,
    cause still thats not me,

    And i aint nevr back down,, from no body,
    we can shoot it out, fist fight r karate,

    still that same nigga that aint scaed,
    black nigga with long dreads
    still ready to bust heads,

    You not the same nigga that you use to be

    • DemoKingz
      DemoKingz
      Reply

      OK so, I think you used the N word too many times but hey that’s on you.

      Anyway, you were rather on beat it’s just that I would advice that you do more switches in flow/delivery that are more drastic so that the track keeps changing and progresses. Like, this part was quite different so it made it fresher:

      You not the same nigga that you used to be,
      the type of nigga who change when he get money mane,
      You not the same nigga that you used to be,
      the type of nigga dat get a bitch and act funny mane,
      You notthe same nigga that you used to be,
      You use to be my round but i cant tell now,
      You not the same nigga you used to be,
      use a fake use phoney use a clown,

      Regardless if this is a chorus or a bridge or whatever, simply switching it up is a principle you want to have in mind. You had more changes in the latter parts which is cool. Like:

      But in the end, i never regret, ill do it again

      i be on the move bitch,i gotta lot of shit to prove bitch,

      i remember how you niggas use ta laughed at me,

      And i aint nevr back down,, from no body, – great way to prolong the word dooooown

      still ready to bust heads, – this had more flavor to it as well πŸ™‚

      You were also good at having intonation patterns rhyme each other. Check this article just in case though – https://rappingmanual.com/rap-tutorials-rhyming-words-vs-rhyming-voice/

      • Trouble
        Reply

        Thanks bruh..

  • Josef
    Reply
    • DemoKingz
      DemoKingz
      Reply

      Will need the lyrics first.

  • BLAZE
    Reply
    • DemoKingz
      DemoKingz
      Reply

      Gonna need the lyrics man πŸ™‚

  • Quinton Wuychuk
    Reply

    has any rappers been noticed of this site??

    • jme
      Reply

      no, its not a music hosting site so how could they have been discovered on here?

  • Etnaid TheMaster
    Reply

    The first song I ever wrote. Some spotty mixing, I know lol. There’s only one verse.

    { Verse }

    Flows sharper than twin swords

    I gotta crew nigga what’s yours

    Got Asian chicks for the full course

    Apple scented ass, I call her hard core

    Spitting raps like a monsoon

    Our team a Network like cartoons

    We were wack once but that old news

    We still new school, but we’ll be senior soon

    Our feet were dragging but now we’re cool

    YouTube got a couple views

    Odyssey filled with a couple goons

    And that’s way more than you hoes do

    Work harder when my cocks out

    Fuck the game up then I pop out

    While I wipe sweat from my eyebrows

    Order Wings, but still won’t chicken out

    We got a proud family but ain’t penny proud

    I want the cash you can keep the loud

    Niggas hating cause we overpowered

    I’d give a fuck but, eh I’m laying down

    Tired of sitting on the couch

    Give me bent knees then I might slouch

    We had some problems but we’re cool now

    We fucked up but we’re here now

    Link : https://soundcloud.com/grandmaster1up/good-lord

    • DemoKingz
      DemoKingz
      Reply

      OK man, so one obvious problem with this is that the intonation was the same for each line, the intonation pretty much MUST change at least every 4 lines otherwise is monotone and boring. You also lacked strength in some of the line endings, probably a mix of breath control issues and diction.

      For diction check this out – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDt10D5uFNQ

      You can read your lyrics once or twice with doing the over-enunciating as the videos shows and then go to regular practice of the verse(s). It will help you sound more clear.

      And for the changing of intonation, this is a must-read = https://rappingmanual.com/rap-tutorials-rhyming-words-vs-rhyming-voice/

      Other than that, you were rather on beat so that’s a great look. Keep practicing daily and the results will improve πŸ™‚ Record often too!

  • Verseatile
    Reply

    can you give me some lyric feedback, i haven’t got a beat yet, i just wanna know what you think of the lyrics:
    [hook]
    Seems nobody wants to love me,
    Nobody wants to love me,
    Nobody wants to love me,
    Nobody loves me and my issues troubling
    I asked for your praise and you gave me nothing,
    this is my reputation that I’m juggling,
    For better or worse, I ain’t gon’ carry on running,
    Give me the world man just give me that one thing,
    [verse 1]
    I’m instrumental on an instrumental,
    my non endin’ potential,
    with a pencil,
    means I shoot verbal bullets in ya temple
    I wield the pen with malice,
    I’m enigmatic,
    You have arguments, I have a tennis racquet,
    Who made this rappin’ menace active,
    You think I’m shit, that this rapping is not tricky,
    Don’t sound like me? I put another voicebox in me?
    Fuck that, you can’t rap for shit yet you takin’ the piss, watch me raisin’ ma fist, accept pain is ma gift,
    Got that beef like Ray and Fabolous,
    Raised from the dead like lazarus,
    Yall just scream like amateurs,
    I spit sick bars like canibus,
    Yall got that lack of focus, I’m in ma magnum opus, our beef gives bad aromas, unlike this magical verse,
    I act ferocious, I run the show,
    I’m hot you’re really cold, like Joey I even juxtapose,
    Yall think I’ll end up burnin’ in hell,
    But you really just end up fuckin’ hurtin’ yourself,
    Look how I excel, I’m deadly lay out your skin like a spread sheet,
    Gave myself a way to go, I light the trail,
    I’m comin’ for ya, all the haters know
    My words just like many streams and rivers, bitches they just flow,
    [hook]
    [Verse 2]
    Fuck the world, fuck its people,
    Everyone lookin’ at me ’cause I’m lookin’ evil,
    So fuckin’ messed and depressed in ma cereberal,
    yall happy only ’cause ya laughin’ at me though,
    my wrists are slit, and now I’m fuckin’ down in the ring,
    Things ain’t been the same since biggie smacked me at ma christening,
    I don’t believe in no religious things,
    I’ll show ya who is the king,
    It’s me, your words ain’t limiting,
    ma legs dead, ma head’s leadin’ me on to death,
    thinkin’ on what’ve said,
    my life is novelesque,
    I don’t wanna fuckinglive if I’m not the best,
    I feel the pain like you’ve just fuckin’ shot ma chest,
    Tears have already started streamin’ down ma face,
    I simply hate it I express it in a thousand ways,
    Wait a minute I’m too busy findin’ therapy,
    Try to help me to combat my violent enemies,
    I’m burnin’ yall so much it’s like I’m lightin’ kerosene
    Give me a stacked gat I just start firin’ carelessly
    And if my words don’t beat yall, I got no remedy,
    Perhaps I shoulda listened to what most of yall said to me,
    [hook]

    • DemoKingz
      DemoKingz
      Reply

      Sorry man but this post is about recorded songs.

  • ChrisiS
    Reply

    Lyrics:

    My zodiac sign’s a Leo and the symbol is a Lion. A bunch of rappers in the atmosphere but all they’re doing is lying. You can call this practice cause all I’m doing is trying. I got this game in a choke hold & I’ll murder it cause I’m that bold. I told you to keep your eyes open and for some reason you didn’t. Imma tell you one more time and hopefully you listen. You say you wanna battle me but your in no condition. You obviously don’t know what it is I”m cooking in the kitchen. Time to change the subject cause your rap career is wrecked. Pop up at your show so you can get mic checked. Bitch-ass-ness in you is what I detect. You playing in the playoffs but you just got swept. I’m a lion in the jungle who is ready to rumble. When I end your rap career I will never be humble. And when that shit happens the spirit inside you is sure enough to crumble. Build you up, then break you down, that’s what I do. I gotta sick ass flow like I’m suffering from the flu. Imma super beast who escaped from the zoo. Hugh Jackman your ass and slice up these bars. Leave you with scars then toss you into some jars to throw you onto mars and chill with them superstars while smoking on some cigars and playing those great guitars. You flying in a spaceship that was made outta old cars.

      • DemoKingz
        DemoKingz
        Reply

        Nice man I loved your delivery style, it was playfully condescending, hahah.

        I also liked that you had a couple of intonation pattern switches and you “rhymed” them well. For example, this part here was dope in that regard:

        Time to change the subject cause your rap career is WRECKED.
        Pop up at your show so you can get mic CHECKED.
        Bitch-ass-ness in you is what I DETECT.
        You playing in the playoffs but you just got SWEPT

        Not only did you change the tone of voice but you also rhymed it well i.e. the intonation of all 4 lines matched. And it’s great that you kept it only for 4, more and it would’ve been a pushover.

        Now, here:

        And when that shit happens – You kinda chopped this up which was dope but I think you could’ve finished the whole line in the same way, and probably do the next one like that as well.

        Build you up, then break you down, that’s what I DO.
        I gotta sick ass flow like I’m suffering from the FLU.
        Imma super beast who escaped from the ZOO

        This was again done well expect for the second line with flu which you didn’t deliver with the same energy level. Like, you didn’t say the word Flu hard enough.

        Leave you with SCARS then toss you into some JARS
        to throw you onto MARS and chill with them superSTARS
        while smoking on some CIGARS and playing those great GUITARS.
        You flying in a spaceship that was made outta old CARS.

        This was cool because the “rhymed voice” was there for more rhymes and not just the ending ones and again it’s cool because the tone of voice was different than the ones from before. However, I feel that you should’ve used the same intonation for the last line as well, since the rhymes were the same but you said CARS differently than SCARS/JARS/STARS/GUITARS.

        Overall, you do a lot of things right – switching and rhyming intonation/flow patterns, I’d just suggest to do it even more. Do it more often and do it more extremely so that your delivery builds on color and bunch of subtle shades.

        Check this for further info – https://rappingmanual.com/rap-tutorials-rhyming-words-vs-rhyming-voice/

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