Hey everyone, in the comment section of this post you can post something that you have recorded, it doesn’t have to be a studio quality track, it can be something recorded on your cell phone, just make sure that the beat can be heard (no acapellas, only recordings with a beat to it) and you will also need to post the lyrics of your verse(s).

I will mostly focus the feedback on the way you sound and while this will be somewhat limited (due to the lyrics/flow courses on the main page offering full instructor to student teaching) it will still give you some important directions and assessments.

Looking forward to your entries.

DemoKingz

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Showing 226 comments
    • DemoKingz
      DemoKingz
      Reply

      Again, you guys need to post the lyrics ๐Ÿ™‚

    • DemoKingz
      DemoKingz
      Reply

      You will need to provide lyrics for the song to receive feedback.

      • Anonymous
        Reply

        The displayer/displayed and displaced/all the way from Decatur/A.T.L shell mentality’s hell/the circle of life and the game of tell/on top of my mountain/sipping from the fountain/dipping while I’m counting all the people I’m surmounting/swell/that’s my ego/an excellent steeple/stunting like I’m evil/in the middle ages/they cry sorcery when I’m rapping from my pages/try to get my wages/qwelling my rages/gonna be the star break out my Johnny Cages/get my mom a car/switching scenes like I’m switching stages/off to the races/paces/got no time/when I rhyme/I can’t remember faces/all these loose ends/like I ain’t tying laces/saving up my graces/so I can give them all back to the ones who make it/take it/make it your own/or break it/breakdown cause I’m black/I got shakedown/get a rack and they’d think they need to take down the operation/the way of the nation/G.B for all the problems in facing/and fear/false evidence appearing real/mind playing tricks/I can’t control my wits/fucked around and thought I was with the shits/woke up in the pits/my allegory fits in with cash vixens/if not this whole rhyme’ll be in the stash mixing/with the greatest/debate it and end up fast missing/au revoir mon amour/but skip the French kissing

        • DemoKingz
          DemoKingz
          Reply

          OK, so what I liked is that you were rather on beat, which is always a good look. Of course, with time it will get tighter.

          Overall, you need to have more energy and life in your delivery but this too will come with time. As I’ve told the others in here, this article is like a mandatory reading – http://rappingmanual.com/rap-tutorials-rhyming-words-vs-rhyming-voice/

          Practice what’s in the article and that plus time will give great results. Make sure you practice daily though.

          Other than that I liked the internal rhymes in here, and I’d suggest to do more transitions like this:

          switching scenes like Iโ€™m switching stages
          /off to the RACES/
          PACES/got no time/when I rhyme/

          The way “races” and “paces” came one after another was extra dope, do that more often.

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    woah

    • DemoKingz
      DemoKingz
      Reply

      Lyrics please

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    https://soundcloud.com/naki_13/sol-prod-mjnicols

    My Verse:

    I’m smoking dimes and dubs
    man i’m on my way up

    ascension got a nigga crazy; life was made up

    Now im drinking all this liquor
    got me drowning in my sins
    Robitussin ain’t kick in
    So I’m chilling with the burden of this bourbon in the front of the suburban

    Sonics of 46 knows we’re swerving
    we’re getting into shit. We aint urban

    We just locals with local motives
    like locomotives switching up the track.

    • DemoKingz
      DemoKingz
      Reply

      I like your voice man, and it seems that you have some local accent or whatever which is real cool. So yeah, this is too short of a verse, ain’t no many details I can analyze, but flow is steady enough and the tone of voice is awesome. As I’ve suggested the other entries, check this article for a great general advice (it’s about switching up your intonation patterns more often and more extremely) – http://rappingmanual.com/rap-tutorials-rhyming-words-vs-rhyming-voice/

  • Edward
    Reply

    This was my first time recording in like a studio. I recorded songs before on my latptop but this was a different feel to it. Im also a soft spoken guy. I actually did like 1 take on my song but im curious to know what you think on it. You dont have to hear the whole song since two of my other friends are on it but just me in general I want to know how I did or sound to you
    https://soundcloud.com/edward-obiarinze/show-it

    Do the dance girl
    Do the dance girl
    Let me see you in that stance
    Do the stance girl (x2)

    Got to see you move it
    Got to see you shake it
    Is you honest let me see you show it
    Show it girl (x2)

    In the back she dancing on me
    In the back she twerking on me
    Girl make that sound let me see you move that ass around
    And she loves her favorite song, make a nigga get hard
    with the squad know who we are, aint trying push too far
    Love the way she moves
    Love the way she groves
    Ass so smooth do the dance on your dude
    Ayy
    I just be flowing with the mood
    Shawty said she down for the crew
    You know what to do lets make that move
    I’ll bring the drinks you bring the weed
    We turning up in here
    Bring your girlfriends down in here
    I’ll hit them up with the liquor talk
    Watch them all do the walk
    But hold up one of them caught my eyes now its a close up
    One of them caught my eyes its a close up

    • Edward
      Reply

      But hold up one of them caught my eyes its a close up*

    • DemoKingz
      DemoKingz
      Reply

      Cool, so one thing I noticed is that you had a drop/loss of energy in couple of places, it’s like you got tired to finish the lines, like:

      that ass around
      for the crew
      the weed
      walk
      its a close up

      …do the walk… But hold up – this part here was especially noticeable. I could barely hear the words “but hold up”.

      This may be a breath control/diction problem, probably a mix of both, so one thing you can do is practice your verse by reading it through like once or twice and over-pronounce each word. Watch this video for help – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDt10D5uFNQ

      Other than that, have in mind that the rhymes need to have more strength and diversity to them (in the way you rap them i.e. in the sound) so you can read/do this practice here in this article of mine – http://rappingmanual.com/rap-tutorials-rhyming-words-vs-rhyming-voice/

      What I liked is that you were rather on beat, of course it can always be more tight but it wasn’t like bad or something. And you used melody here and there which is cool ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Edward
        Reply

        Thanks bro I appreciate the feedback. I just want to get better and better lol. One thing I know I need to work on is being like all rhyming with lyrical content but Idk if I can do all that. When I write I just write what ever pops up basically haha.

        • DemoKingz
          DemoKingz
          Reply

          You will man, no worries ๐Ÿ™‚ Gotta put in the work though, spend at least 30 minutes a day rapping.

          Your lyrics will get better with time as well, you will need to have more rhymes stored in your head and also your brain’s response time if you will, has to improve in speed. Like, how fast you can think of a rhyme and how witty you are to connect different ideas together.

          You can read the book Mastery by Robert Greene to learn more about this ๐Ÿ˜€

          If you ever got 22$ to spare I suggest you to check out my flow/lyrics courses where you get a holistic approach to most efficiently improve in all areas. In the meantime, study the free articles and ask away questions. The more you ask the more I can help.

          • Edward

            Thanks bro and I freestyle basically every day haha. I write most days, before I lost motivation so I stop writing. But my motivation came back so im back to writing and specially since I been in like a studio with good quality sound thats the motivation I needed because using my laptop and not knowing how to mix and stuff brought my motivation down. I dont think I got a rapping style or maybe you would say flow, I still got to find myself and reach that level where I want to get to. But for your courses how does it work? I pay for both courses and then what happens? Am I looking at videos or are you talking and showing stuff live or is it articles I will be looking at? I did buy your rap manual like two days ago. But Im curious to know about this courses because im going back to college soon since winter break is over soon, I want to make sure I will have time for all of this. Thanks bro I appreciate what you do and support you

          • DemoKingz
            DemoKingz

            Great looking out man, and yeah freestyling is dope, it’s actually my favorite thing in rap, and while I don’t write that often I do freestyle daily ๐Ÿ™‚

            Thing with motivation is that you can’t rely on it, you need to work even when your emotions aren’t there. And going back to book suggestions, you would like to check out – The War of Art which talks about “showing up” and how to battle resistance and lack of motivation.

            OK so, the book you’ve bought is written by Martin who is the site owner. Me, on the other hand, am an instructor and I’ve recently got more obligations on here (used to only write articles and run the community section which is now gone) and I will run the site for the most part from now on.

            Now just as Martin has his book I have my interactive courses, which offer quite a different approach especially in terms of flow and delivery.

            The flow course for example has 6 tasks and they focus on separate areas. Each task offers a description, an example (some of this is YouTube videos that serve more as audio/visual aid) and also an exercise that you need to do so that you put the info in practice. I will give feedback for the work you do for each task and I will also answer any questions and make sure that everything is clear. The info from all tasks comes together to make sure that you got the fundamentals down and then you’ll have a clear picture on what you need to practice and how.

            Possibly the most important thing you’ll learn is the best way to ride a beat and it has nothing to do with beats and bars (the 4/4 thing), I know most rappers use that approach (and no disrespect to that) but I can guarantee that mine is much simpler and better. And at the very least you’ll have more options to choose from.

            If you decide to buy, you can only go with one of them, and I’d suggest the flow one because it’s more important. However, the one for the lyrics is great as well and it would be optimal if you take both.

            So yeah, have it in mind and no worries the tasks are made to be extra compact so it won’t take much of your time.

            I have been analyzing flows since 2008-09 and had the major epiphanies if you will, just in 2014 (and they’ve been refined since) so what took me 5-6 years you can learn in a day. This will cut your learning curve and ensure that you’re doing not only practice but PROPER practice as well ๐Ÿ™‚

          • Edward

            I couldnt reply to your reply post you did below. But I want to get better with my word play and be better at rhyming so Im wondering if the lyric course will help me with that. I will join the flow course since you mention thats the most important. But my main focus is getting better with the lyrics.

          • DemoKingz
            DemoKingz

            Sorry for the late reply, I somehow had missed this last comment of yours. But yeah, the lyrics course will help for sure.

            They too are designed to paint a bigger picture and you will get a precise division of the most important aspects of lyrics and you’ll know how to train your associating making process and some of the mathematics of rhyming.

  • Anonymous
    Reply

    https://soundcloud.com/kylle-r/logic-tree-of-life-coverremix-1
    Lyrics:
    Let it cease, I beg and plead I dread to see, your prejudice
    When I confide I’m fortified under cotton skin
    that otherwise, I’m mortified, the insecur-est bitch
    Would it coincide, fall in line along with all the jestin’
    That I’m as soft as sin? that metaphor I meant,
    Cause it requires the fire of guys at the height of their vigour to light the, fight
    to reinforce this course to divorce and diverge from the door of temp tation
    remourse is the agitator, catalyst for the invasion,
    battle ragin’ in mental corners, internal brawlin’, self causin’, self involvin’ conflict
    In war, there’s no conquest without a tortured conscious
    Now I’m torn like a brochure, sight to procure
    Ironic ain’t it, yin yang symbol so iconic
    But the pitch and the stark had forgotten
    the minute it started, To blend like Bruce A. Carlson,
    To convey these 50 shades, of wispy greys that’s displayed
    that nothing’s truly wrong once, you’ve got a proper problem,
    and a morphin’ conscious, c’mon, let’s hit the chorus

    • DemoKingz
      DemoKingz
      Reply

      Nice man, you had a couple of switches in flow, you also had nice intonation “rhyming” i.e. patterns and just to solidify this you should read – http://rappingmanual.com/rap-tutorials-rhyming-words-vs-rhyming-voice/

      To point out specific places where you did this good:

      When I CONfide Iโ€™m FORtified under cotton skin
      that OTHERwise, Iโ€™m MORtified, the insecur-est bitch
      Would it COINcide, fall IN LIne along with all the jestinโ€™

      I liked how you put more stress on the syllables which I put in caps and how the other “halves of the lines” had a different intonation to them so the 2 intonation patterns (the more stressed one and the more regular one) paralleled each other nicely. Plus you only kept this for 3 lines which made it fresher, it would’ve been boring if all the lines or more than 4 sounded like this. It was also a great contrast to the 1st line which had a different rhythm to it.

      ” that metaphor I meant,” here the intonation was calm which is dope because again it made it more diverse

      And bam in the next line you went for more of a “run of rhymes” flow, good job

      After that you made a cool switch and added a more swing type flow at ” internal brawlinโ€™, self causinโ€™, self involvinโ€™ conflict”

      To convey these 50 shades, of wispy greys thatโ€™s displayed – this had a nice flow to it as well

      So overall, great job, things I would say are lacking is that all of this can be tighter. I’d say the diction could be a bit better and you could also sound more sure of yourself. However, things like these simply take time so with practice you’ll get there.

      Of course, I’d suggest you to take my flow course where you can learn how you can utilize the beat in further ways. You can find the course on the main page.

      • Anonymous
        Reply

        Thank you so much for the feedback and response! I’ll definitely be working on the things you’ve mentioned! Also, Something I’ve been struggling with has been trying to find out which word falls on which beat and I’ve read both of your ‘how to count music for rap’ but after a few days of trying to figure it out, i’m still not getting it as fast as I need it to, how can I get the hang of this?

        • DemoKingz
          DemoKingz
          Reply

          Awesome man, great if I could help ๐Ÿ™‚ And no worries, just keep working (daily) and you’ll get the results. I had the worse flow on the planet, and with hard work I am very pleased with how I sound nowadays.

          Anyhow, the articles you allude to (as well as most of the articles on this site) are written by Martin who is the creator of this site (his username is simply RappingManual).

          Me, on the other hand, am an instructor on the site and have just recently started to get more obligations in here which means many of the articles to follow will be done by me.

          Anyhow, the rhyme falling on a beat of a bar thingy is something that I don’t like. Nothing against Martin or the 95% of rappers (especially professionals) who use the method, but I feel that my “instinctive way to flow” is much better and simpler. Therefore, if you get to check out my flow course you’ll see how you can ride the beat without ever worrying about beats and bars. Sorry to come off as doing marketing, but I’ve analyzed flows for 7-8 years and the course is my best way to explain what made me sound great, and I really think everyone should partake in it (for their own good) ๐Ÿ™‚

          Most of my method is actually deduction and I gotta thank this guy for it ๐Ÿ˜€ You will likely not understand the language but you should be able to tell that the flow/delivery is superb quality – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThoYERvbh5I

          Salute and stick around, even with the free articles you learn a lot. And please feel free to ask questions, the more you ask the more I can help.

    • DemoKingz
      DemoKingz
      Reply

      Hey man, good looking out, however I’ll need the lyrics as it states in the article. This is so that I point out flow/delivery things at certain words and stuff.

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